*Body Dysmorphic disorder is a mental disorder in which you can’t stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance — a flaw that, to others, is either minor or not observable. But you may feel so ashamed and anxious that you may avoid many social situations.*
In the last 18+ Years my weight has gone up & down SEVERAL times. I’m 5’5 & I’ve been down to 175 & I’ve also been up to 300+ pounds. I’m currently about 220. If You know me well, You know I hardly ever go out to events/parties. However this past weekend I did so I could celebrate my Cousin. Only issue was, I had to dress up for it. I don’t enjoy getting dress up, I’m a tshirt, shorts & tennis shoe type Woman. The last few weeks I had been searching for dresses and it had stressed me the fck out to the point of panic attacks (more than once). I ordered two dresses for it & both were 3x & both barely fit. Seeing the number 3x & not being able to fit either dress properly really fcked with my mental and made me think about my body way more than I already do. I’ve Dealt with Body Dysmorphia since I was a kid…
Luckily, I decided to look in my closet & to my surprise I found a beautiful NBJ dress that I already owned that fit perfectly. Plus I knew I’d be comfortable in it. It’s long so I didn’t even have to worry about crossing my legs lol. So I wore it to the event & had a great time w/o constantly worrying about my body. Luckily ONLY 2 people had the audacity to mention to me I wasn’t wearing a dress according to the requested dress code. I #Woosah & let the comments slide so I could enjoy celebrating My loved one.
I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only person to deal with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I’ve decided I’m no longer going to stress about what my body is or isn’t. From this moment forward I’m going to make a conscious effort to LOVE on my body. And I hope by me sharing my journey it helps someone else decide to LOVE on their own body too.